Not That You Asked

I’ve decided to dedicate my Friday posts to write about my take on “current” events/topics/gossip, etc.

Hot Doug’s

Listen. I’m real sad that Hot Doug’s is closing. I took five minutes after hearing about it to mourn. Honestly, I’m going to miss the cheese fries most of all. And even though the line usually went pretty fast and there was always a seat, it annoyed me to wait around with a bunch of clueless newbies who drove in from wherever. I’ve gotta say, there are a lot of things that go on in this city that are much more pressing/important/newsworthy, so when fifty different people on Facebook posted links and made comments within an hour, it all felt kind of dumb. I don’t mean you as individuals, I mean the collective, repetitive wall vomit. I stayed off Twitter for the better part of the day otherwise I would have had to stop following basically everyone. Yes, the place is an institution and will be sorely missed. But it’s hotdogs, people.

George Clooney’s Engagement

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Ya know what burns me most of all? That stupid open letter to Amal Alamuddin thanking her for proving that ridiculous woman from Princeton wrong when she said men don’t like smart women. WHO CARES WHAT MEN THINK AT ALL? Seriously, why are we congratulating this non-celebrity for being able to snag George Clooney? Oh look, you just proved how amazing and awesome you are by getting engaged! We did not give two shits about you and your accomplishments until this 53 year old Hollywood actor decided he was ready to “settle down”. But GO YOU for not being a big fake dummy, no but really, let us see that ring and refer to you as the future Mrs. Clooney because that’s all that matters now!

This Weather

“I just want it to be above freezing.” “I just want there to be sun.” “I just want to go without wearing a coat.” “I just want to wear open-toed shoes.” “I just want to wear a sundress.” “I just want to drink outside.”  There are like a total of ten to fifteen days this is actually possible without rain, bugs/mosquitos, and extreme heat. Stop conveniently forgetting that Chicago gets just as unbearably hot as it does cold. Most days in the summer you are hanging at your friend’s with central air conditioning and dreaming for the days you can eat soup. Remember when you were at Pitchfork and there was no shade and you either almost died of heat stroke or from a deadly thunderstorm? Yeah, this is some total shitbird weather, but we live in fucking Chicago and unless this is your first year here, SHUT IT. I know it’s hard to imagine going a whole day not making a comment about it, because I barely can, but that is just a sad, sad thing that we should all be trying harder not to dwell on.

Game of Thrones

Is anyone else kinda bored with season four? Because I am. Not enough to stop watching it or anything. Not like how I felt after watching the first episode of the latest Mad Men season and not caring at all about watching more. Just, I don’t know, not quite as nail biting and cliff-hanger-y as the other seasons. Then again, I watched all three of them in about a week, so maybe it was the way I was consuming it that makes this week to week shit kinda lame. And yeah, I didn’t want to use the word “binge”. Or maybe I’d feel more satisfied if I had actually read the books and knew all of the cool stuff that was about to go down.



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