I could not possibly know that the guy I was having dinner with a year ago would end up becoming one of my closest friends, my partner and soon, the father of my child.
But it happened.
I could not have predicted that within a year I would go from single and casually (re: begrudgingly) dating to falling in love and paving a new life path.
But I did.
This isn’t to say that the road has been paved with gold, that I was miserable before and now miraculously living the dream. I’m still me, anxious and sometimes depressed, worried and suddenly forced to REALLY think about the future in more concrete ways than I did before.
I’ve just been made really aware of how quickly things can change. Some of these differences felt purposeful and others seemed completely out of my hands. Either way, tomorrow keeps showing up and I keep moving through the day, getting to the next. Sometimes I’m able to appreciate this notion, am grateful for it. Other days it can seem like a never ending slog.
I think I’m becoming more fixated on the idea of time because of this impending birth, this human life that is about to take over mine. I hope I’m able to be in the moment and enjoy it instead of looking forward to some future day when he is “no longer doing this” or “able to do this”. I hope I’m able to embrace the idea that nothing ever stays the same. That there will be bad days and bad phases and maybe bad years. But if I’m lucky, I’ll live to pass those hard times.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I hope I can be strong.