If a doctor said you had an 87% chance of living, how would that make you feel?

I suppose those odds are decent. But something about being 90% or over always sounds so much better.

Since I’ve decided that getting pregnant is only a step above death, as in, it’s the second worst thing that could happen to me, 87% isn’t really doing it for me.

Birth control is the worst.

We spend a good portion of our sexual selves trying NOT to get pregnant and yet every method of birth control, outside of rendering it impossible to conceive, makes having sex a lot less fun. Whether it’s causing actual physical side effects or creating mental blocks, there’s no way to get it on freely without worrying about insemination.

Why are women the bearer of the responsibility when it comes to figuring out how to not get knocked up? RHETORICAL QUESTION, I KNOW.

Sure, men can get their tubes tied or wear condoms, but those are their only two options. Not to mention, more often than not, women are supplying the condoms.

Also, neither of those things directly mess with your body or mind in a constant, potentially deadly way.

At the age of 35, being overweight and potentially going on drugs for high blood pressure, I increase my chance of having blood clots, a stroke or a heart attack. And lets not forget the effect of hormones on someone with mental health issues.

As much as I dig all the pros about IUD’s, psychologically, it’s just not for me. I don’t want something inserted inside of me with strings hanging down that I have to keep track of (other than tampons.)

I’m actually considering getting sterilized, though there’s 5% of me that thinks I might want to have another kid at some point. Or at least, I’m not totally on board with saying a definitive Never.

Anyway, I started a progesterone only pill because you can’t take estrogen if you’re pumping or breastfeeding and I’ve already forgotten to take it on time twice. This from a person who is basically home everyday and doesn’t have an excuse. This pill is 87% effective if taken by a normal person who will probably not manage to take it at the exact same time every single day.

So I guess the means we’ll still be using condoms on top of the pill just to be EXTRA SURE. Which by the way, condoms should be free just like my birth control pills.

Thank god I’m old though, right?! I can start having all of the best sex when I’m going through menopause and my partner has an increased chance of erectile dysfunction.




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