Two things have happened recently that have gotten me thinking about my dating status.
Rose was awesome enough to pass along a job ad for an online publication looking for a new dating blogger. She said she thought I might be a good fit, which was really flattering. When I read the description, it said the person applying should be “actively dating”. So…I didn’t apply.
Then a good friend of mine posted a question about a dating scenario on Facebook wanting feedback. I totally knew where she was coming from, even though I’ve been “out of the game” for a bit. I answered, but the whole time felt like an asshole, as if I no longer have insight or opinions on dating that are valid since I’m in a relationship.
When I told Rose I didn’t think I filled the requirement for the job, she said she thought that part was bullshit and really put a limit on finding someone who could write about dating. I agreed at the time, but after responding to my friend’s query, felt less assured.
I used to write about this kind of thing all of the time. I had also been single and basically looking for over five years. Sometimes I was more aggressive in my search, other times I was so burnt out from everything, I would take a break. But blogging about it and producing a show that was about dating, relationships, and sex meant that I felt a sort of obligation to keep things interesting. Or more accurately, to always have material.
Even now, sometimes I feel like my posts on this blog are boring because I’ve written so much about my pregnancy and being a new parent. I won’t assume my past stuff was particularly mind blowing or thought provoking, but it did have a wider range.
But I’m not one dimensional. I have opinions on all kinds of things, especially when it comes to dating. I may not be in the thick of it and I don’t have much to say in terms of present day complaints, but I remember things pretty clearly.
Two years ago today, I wrote about how I was frustrated with dating. But I’d also decided that guys who made no effort weren’t worth thinking twice about and that I wasn’t going to waste my time on them.
I also said I wasn’t as prone to be blindsided by love after so many years of failure.
I was wrong.
You CAN be blindsided by love, any time, no matter what’s happened to you and no matter how long it’s been since you’re last love (if you’ve had serious relationships in the past.) Even if you are jaded like I was. Even if it feels hopeless.
If you are still dating, then you still believe.
And you should.