At The Movies with Your Friend Jasmine: Crimson Peak and Yakuza Apocalypse

I saw Crimson Peak last night as I adore movies with the following things: romance, Gothic intrigue, lush costumes, insane sets and art direction (THAT HOUSE), and, of course, Tom Hiddleston. I exchanged Facebook messages with a friend about the movie on the way home.

I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who plans to see it (and if you do let me know so I can tag along, especially if you go see it at the IMAX theater on Navy Pier), but here are some snippets from our conversation:

  • “[the sex] was like a sorbet to cleans the palate”
  • “she looked like she was opening a jar of pickles”
  • “i feel like if ever there was an actor you could be sure would be respectful with your boobs it would be [Tom Hiddleston]”
  • “much heaving”
  • “I’m gonna start a Lucille Sharpe fan club”

I went into this movie with a crush on Tom, but was overwhelmed by admiration for Jessica Chastain. She is an acting beast, and she wasn’t chewing scenery in this movie so much as ripping it’s head off with her bare hands. If you can’t bring yourself to watch something rather gory, then look for A Most Violent Year and watch that instead and just remember to thank me afterwards.

The other movie I saw recently was Yakuza Apocalypse. That was fucking nuts. A midnight movie if ever there was one, but with the added surreality? surrealness? that only Takashi Miike can bring. I haven’t seen any of his other movies and to be honest I’m not sure that I want to. This was more than enough, with vampire gangsters and vampire killers, reformed gang lords who knit and a kaiju who may or may not bring the apocalypse mentioned in the title.

Did I mention that the kaiju is a somebody in a sort of mangy looking frog costume?

I have movie-going homework to do. I finally need to sit myself down and watch Pan’s Labyrinth and The Devil’s Backbone. I need to re-watch The Orphanage and Pacific Rim. I really should try to watch Takashi Miike’s Audition, and refresh my memory on Japanese folk lore. I need to write Jessica Chastain a very sincere letter inviting her to be a guest on Vital Social Issues and Stuff.

Just as soon as I watch that Crimson Peak love scene one more time. Okay, two.


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