the Michael Fassbender of fish & chips

I spent nine days traveling around Ireland with a good friend.

That was nine days of her hiking and driving and generally kicking ass all over the Emerald Isle, and me being slow and whiny and snoring at night and coughing throughout the day and basically being the worst.

It is, I think, not a small miracle that she did not actually kill me.


a postcard from Ireland

Dear Chicago,

I haven’t seen you in a week. I’ve been traveling around Ireland with a friend. You would know this if you followed me on Instagram.

All of my pictures have been of food, with the odd shot of flowers, sky, or animal. On Wednesday, I saw no less than three rainbows on the drive from Galway to Connemara. THREE. Did Ireland do this on purpose? Like, “Jasmine and her friend will be here for the first time ever so lets make sure our rainbow game is solid.”

Carry On

I leave for Ireland tonight. I will be gone for nine days.

The friend that I’m traveling with just texted me a picture of what she’s packing and it’s literally a dress, four shirts, and a pair of pants. The backpack that she’s using as her single piece of luggage is as big as the hiking shoes I plan to wear onto the plane to save space in my backpack, which is about the size of my apartment.

I have sports bras and diabetic friendly socks. Do I bring one Lantus pen or two? Can I bring my 70’s revival flares and clogs so I look taller, or settle for looking like Humpty Dumpty in jeggings that take up less room in my bag.

things that i have to take care of now that it is sorta spring

Put away puffy black winter coat. But not too far away because whenever I do that is when Chicago is hit by a freak storm.

Move glossier, brighter lipsticks and lip glosses up in rotation of red lipsticks.

Catch up on watching “Empire”.

Clean blinds on windows and blades on ceiling fan.

Mentally prepare for season five premiere of “Game of Thrones”. Tell friends you will only respond when called “Khaleesi” or “My Queen”.

Get new friends when they refuse.

Buy and send birthday cards to Carly, Leah.

Start figuring out piece for 20×2.

Send out invitations for birthday outing to the Music Box to see A Day at the Races.

Buy hiking boots for trip to Ireland in April.

Buy trekking poles for trip to Ireland in April.

Break in hiking boots by wearing them around at home and at the office to prepare for trip to Ireland in April.

Google “hot Irish actors” and spend more time than is appropriate given that it is 10:0am on a Wednesday looking at dreamy pictures of Michael Fassbender.

Write fan fiction about meeting Michael Fassbender while hiking in Ireland in April.

Begin checking local supermarkets for butter lambs.

the lady in 15A

Congratulate me, you guys – I spent enough time travelling on the same airline in 2014 to qualify for the bottom tier of elite status of its frequent flier program.

I take special delight in being able to use priority access security lanes when I arrive at the airport. I still have to take off my shoes when I go through the body scanner, though. And it’s not like TSA agents are nicer to me just because my boarding pass has the word PRIORITY printed on it all in caps. But shorter lines mean less time spent having my panoply of anti-aging creams scanned and more time eating Garrett’s Popcorn from the kiosk in Terminal 3 of O’Hare.

Strange Hers On A Train

When the clock strikes midnight tonight, I’ll be on my way to New York City. Specifically, I’ll be in a roomette in a sleeper car on Amtrak train number 48, the Lake Shore Limited. I’ll probably be frantically shoving grapes into my mouth while my friend Jacinda does the same.

The grapes are for luck, and Jacinda is for company. I don’t know how I did it, but I convinced one of my oldest and dearest friends to take the train with me, promising shenanigans and good times (and hopefully no delays) in what is estimated to be a twenty hour journey. Twenty hours! I know there are these fancy flying machines that can get us there in 1/10th of the time this will take, but with 1/10th of the fun.